Dreamer Duck

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya. The game HetaOni belongs to Tomoyoshi. 

Good Bye

 

There was a loud commotion in the hallway as I and Feliciano attempted to find some sort of hiding place. Where we were, I was not too sure. The only thing I did know, was the fact Feliciano and I were no longer in our time loop. It was a strange feeling, to know that whatever happened here had not happened to the others in the time loop we were from. So perhaps this was why there was so much confusion in the beginning when everyone had trouble remembering who came with who. I decided when we got back that I would write it all down just in case I ended up forgetting something as well, or I'm not around for them to ask. It would be safer bet.

 

There were not too many places to pick to hide since the hallway was so empty, but it didn’t matter much. As long as our selves in this time did not catch us, we should be just fine. Besides, we were used to the empty halls and the chill that entered our spines at the slightest sounds of the creaking floor boards. Since first walking into the mansion it hardly had anything in it. Of course that didn't stop us from getting scared with the creaking of the floorboards or the slight breeze from a crack in the wall. Sadly, no matter how hard we tried to get though, nothing budged. The walls would remain intact even if there were cracks. We learned pretty early on not to enter any hole that was big enough for us too.

 

Thankfully, we were able to quickly hide from view with the help of the corner that led down a hallway and listened to the commotion. After going through so much already, one would think the bickering between all of us nations would finally just stop, what with everyone wanting to get out. How many times have we realised that fighting was not the answer if we wanted to make it out of this mansion? But instead of the bickering I thought was going on, it was something much worse.

 

“Is he really” the sound of Russia’s voice drifted through the hallway but paused as I heard disbelief thick in his words.

 

“England…room,” Japan said too quietly for the two of us to hear all of what he said, but I could only imagine.

 

Japan had always been the quieter out of the three of us, but even this was quieter than I was used to. There would be only one thing that could make him so quiet, one of us had died. Taking a quick glance, I counted the heads. Everyone was there except for Prussia, France, Italy, and myself. I had this dreaded feeling within the pit of my stomach, which only grew colder as time passed.

 

"He's...Italy...," Japan faltered with his words. I knew then that the worst happened.

 

Italy had died.

 

Unconsciously, I placed a hand on Feliciano’s shoulder and gave it a small squeeze. It had nothing to do with reassuring myself that Italy wasn’t dead, at least not in the time loop I was in. Of course not. He was standing in front of him, crouching down in an attempt to hear a little better. Soon yelling followed. Was that my voice?

 

“You son of-” I heard myself yell at someone who probably told me that Italy had died.

 

Could I really not handle the truth? Was I truly this weak yelling like a raving lunatic all because someone had told me the truth? Next came Prussia trying to calm me down when I heard him punch someone. It must have been me for the way I was acting. I knew my brother well, if I was not acting as myself he would make sure to keep me reigned in. I regretted hearing myself yell at the others. Of course if Feliciano died I would be devastated, but to such a degree? It was unacceptable to watch myself play the fool instead of being the one to hold on to my sanity. I knew I could be a bit overbearing with being punctual and yelling at the others to stop the bickering, but why would I suddenly just lost my composure. There was still work to be done and the mourning could be done afterwards. I knew if Italy had really died, he would not have wanted me to act in this way. If anything, he would have wanted me to continue on with the others in an attempt to find the exit or a way to save him. So I probably deserved that punch more than I thought at the moment.

 

“Come on Italy, we should quickly find the journal and get back to our time,” I walked a few paces ahead of him to look in the room that would one day be the entrance to our safe room.

 

Perhaps it would be there and I would not have to hear any more about this time loop.The journal was the only device which held everyone here. If it hadn't been for that horrible book, Feliciano would never have had to come back to this place. Yet it was also the saving grace, since we were still alive. I suppose in a way the journal was the only reason why we nations still existed at the moment. Since Italy had signed it in an attempt to bargain with the monster for our lives after we protected him during the first time loop. Of course, there was skepticism since no one really understood the magic behind the whole mansion, not even England. If he didn't know, then how were we supposed to even try to begin to understand. We just knew we had to get out before there would be more and more time loops Feliciano would have to go through.We knew why he was the only one to keep going back with all his memories, but it seemed unfair. The presumed weakest nation of us all, was now one of the strongest. No one knew how the Italian could even begin to handle all the time loops he had gone through in order to reach it this far. From the sounds of it, I could only guess the number was fairly high. I had wanted to do something for him to help ease the burden.

 

“You’re falling apart Germany,” Feliciano said, tentatively watching me. I was a bit shocked at first from his observation, but I humoured him.

 

“Of course I would be, you're my friend aren't you? Now let’s go-”

 

“Italy?”

 

Verdammt! In my carelessness, the Germany in this time loop had managed to spot Feliciano, who was making his way towards me. This was not good. Feliciano was supposed to be dead! Motioning towards the Italian, I pointed towards the room I had wanted to inspect. If anything I knew there would be hiding spots since I had hid there when we first came to the mansion. Not wanting to truly dwell on my behavior at the start of this whole ordeal, I started on my way to find the door which would lead to the safe room.

 

When I entered the room, I saw instead of the metal door to our safe room, a piece of cloth. So the room had yet to be built? This just made things difficult. There was a desk, a few bookcases, and then the cloth covering the small alcove which would one day led to the secret room.“I’m sorry!” I heard Feliciano say before running after me.He was fast on his feet, how that monster had managed to capture him in this time period I would never know. Although if it was anything like what he tried to do earlier in our own time loop then I had an inkling. I would have to talk to him about what him about all that self sacrifice nonsense when this was all over.

 

“Captain! What are we going to do?” Feliciano asked as he looked at me frantically after letting the door slam behind him.

 

“Idiot! I don’t know. This has never happened before. Look we just need to find a place to hide,” I said swiftly turning towards the current cloth that would one day be a very sturdy metal door which would protect us.

 

“There isn’t enough room to actually hide both of this-”

 

“Then you hide in it now and I’ll figure out some other place! We don’t want two Germanys in the same place!” I could tell Feliciano sounded a bit panicked, but he would think of something right? Where else was there to hide though?

 

I held my breath the cloth fell behind me, hiding my body just in time as the door to the room opened. Following it, was a soft voice I would never recognize as my own.

 

"I-I knew the others had to be lying. You c-couldn't have died," said the Germany in this time loop. He gave a small dry laugh. "Of course not."

 

Was I so weak when it came to Italy? I was a strong nation, I had handled the death of another person better than the powerless nation I heard before me. What was wrong with me? I would never make up these feeble excuses! I had to be the strong who would lead the rest of them out right?

 

“GERMANY! Get a hold of yourself! This isn’t like you!” Feliciano shouted as he smacked the other Germany, me essentially.

 

“You…did die…” I heard myself finally confirm the truth. “I’m…sorry. I’ll keep our promise.”

 

It was quiet for a few moments. Then Germany said he was better before the door opened and shut again. I wanted nothing more than to just punch the wall in front of me while I cursed myself for being such a fool! How could I have let Feliciano die like that in this time loop? How could I have shamefully showed such a weak side of myself in front of the others? I needed to get it together and fast.

 

“…many! Germany!” Feliciano called out to me, removing the cloth that hid my body.

 

Jumping slightly, I slowly searched his face, seeing the Italian's face contorted in concern, before smiling. How could he still smile, laugh, even talk about the other time loops as if it was just a bad dream and not even real? How did he handle dealing with the deaths of his friends over and over again? I was a fool to think he was weak. He was stronger, perhaps the strongest of us all. But even the strongest have their limits. Was the Germany in this time loop the strongest I will ever be? No! I shall protect Feliciano. He won’t die and neither will the other nations. We will escape.

 

“Are you sulking?” Feliciano asked moving back a little to allow me to wiggle my large body way out of the hiding spot that was a bit too narrow.

 

“Of course not! I’m just reflecting on how weak I am,” I said tapping him on the head in my usual way of showing affection towards him.

 

“Ve! Captain, why don’t we go and look for the journal now. Then we can go back to our time, okay?” he said with a smile while rubbing his head believing I was okay.

 

“Sure, but could you wait just a moment?” I asked, not daring to look him in the face. I couldn’t face him just yet. I had one thing to do before I could. “I want to see you in this time line…..I don’t have the memories like the others.”

 

“If you want to,” Feliciano said hesitantly.I could hear the question underneath it. Why would you want to go see him dead?

 

“Then I’ll be right back,” I said tugging at my jacket to make it lay flat again before walking to the door and opening it.

 

“I’ll be waiting in the hallway Captain!” Feliciano said with a bright smile.I let the door close softly behind me.

 

For once, I did not feel as if the monster would just pop out, out of nowhere since he had done his job to kill Italy. The hallway I walked to the room where I knew Italy to be, was quiet, as if it knew better than to echo the sounds of my boots. Taking a left to go down the corridor which would lead to another hallway, I saw a vase. It had been filled with a few flowers earlier, had it not? Shaking my head, I continued forward.

 

Another left.

 

The door was in sight. All I would have to do is open the door. What awaited me was something I thought I had prepared myself to see. I knew Feliciano was alive while Italy was not. Yet, I had to see the Italy in this time loop. It was my own way of coping with what had happened to us all from the very first time loop, to the beginning of this one. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door to the room I and several of the other nations had already visited a few times before.

 

The inside was covered with flowers. So that's where the flowers from the vase went. France must have set the flowers, knowing him, but it must have been England who had placed Italy on a white bed sheet. Spread around him were roses varying in colours. It was a beautiful display. Closing the door quietly behind me, I took a few unsteady steps toward the dead nation. For having bickered a lot in this time loop, they had sure arranged a wonderful funeral for Italy. It made me blink a few times in attempt to keep the water from spilling over. I didn't need to cry at the moment, yet my tears had something else in mind.

 

“Sorry, I….I don’t know why I can’t seem to stop crying. Perhaps it’s because I haven’t really lost anyone this close to me,” I shrugged to myself as I gave the saddest excuse I could find.

 

Of course I had lost other people, but none of them had been Feliciano. It was just strange, as if only moments ago we had made a pact as humans, rather than nations, to get out of this mansion. We even picked out human names and signed the document with them. Yet, here, in this time loop, they had not managed to do so. Instead, the Italian nation had died. There would be no pact and there would be no friendship among the other nations.

 

The tears just kept coming.

 

Closing the space between myself and Italy, I noticed the cuts and bandages he wore. Some of the wounds corresponded with the ones Feliciano had now. There, the one on his right arm had been from the piano room, when he nearly tripped over the rug of the piano. It brought a small chuckle.But what hurt the most, was not seeing Italy dead, rather he looked so happy to finally be at peace. The smile on his lips was so innocent it made my heart twist in pain. How long had he suffered? Could he even still smile like this in our time loop? I would bring back that smile.

 

“I promise you, Italy. I will make that safe room for you and the others. It might take a while and many more time loops, but I promise it will be done,” I brushed a few loose strands from his bangs before taking up one of the roses.

 

Seeing his folded hands, I placed the single red rose into them. It had, and still was one of his favourite flowers. I remembered how he would give one to all the women he had met while staying at my house. The smile he gave to them while they discussed various topics was something I had not seen a very long time. I wanted to bring that smile back to his face, no matter the cost.

 

“This I shall you leave you here. You’ll have to go through many more time loops, and I’m terribly sorry I never valued your opinion more. But things are changing, I have to look after the you that is in my time loop. I won’t be the weak Germany you know and you won’t be so alone. I can tell on your face that you seem to think it was for the best, but I swear to you! Having you die is not the best! In fact as your Captain I order to stop this nonsense and behave like you always have!” I shouted the last bit as I choked back on the tears now flowing freely.“Never mind, I needn’t shout. I shall protect the you that I have with me. The rest of us will find a way to escape, all of us…together.”

 

I paused to wipe a few tears from my face. How was I going to face Feliciano after crying, I wondered.

 

“Good-bye Italy, and until you are no longer alone, rest in peace…”

 

I placed a small kiss on his forehead before heading back towards the door. He had been my first and only friend for a very long time. It was about time we showed Feliciano he was no longer alone.